1- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You graduated college before you bought your first bikini.
You're not a zoologist and you don't live in South America, yet you know what a tapir is.
3- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You have a closet full of suits and ties and you only wear them at funerals.
4- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You're having much better sex now, than you were a year ago.
5- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You know what the word "polyandry" means.
6- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You have a greater than average understanding of Egyptology, but you're not a college professor.
7- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You have more than one Facebook account.
You can't discuss religion with your family or childhood friends.
9- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
At Starbucks, you have to ask the teenage barista to recommend something, because the only thing you know how to order is hot chocolate.
10- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You feel like you're naked, and everybody is staring at you, when you wear a sleeveless shirt in public.
11- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You no longer feel guilty when you masturbate.
12- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You go to a nice restaurant, and you have no idea whether red wine or white wine will complement the meal you order.
13- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You get stressed out when your children turn eight.
14- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You go to Walmart to buy underwear, and you're confused about how to do it.
15- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You recently started a blog and you write frequent, outraged posts.
16- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You think the word "church" is a proper noun.
17- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
Sleeping in on Sunday somehow seems more satisfying than sleeping in on Saturday.
18- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
19- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You sometimes feel anxious or angry when people unexpectedly show up at your door with cookies.
20- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You're not a Historian, but you're fascinated with history.
21- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You enjoy cooking, but have no idea how to use alcohol as a cooking ingredient.
22- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You're not a carpenter or an architect, but you know what a compass and a square are.
23- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
Shoulders turn you on just as much as boobs do.
24- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
Your family thinks you're an alcoholic because you enjoy an occasional drink after dinner.
25 (from David Murdock)- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You aren't invited to the wedding of your child, but are expected to pay for the reception and pose for pictures in front of the temple after the wedding.
26 (from D. Darby)- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You bump into your neighbors at the store and they tell you they miss you.
27 (from David E. Simmons)- You might be a Post-Mormon if...
You suddenly have three times the discretionary income, four times the discretionary time and only one fourth your normal discretion.
Let me know if you think of any other things that indicate you might be a Post-Mormon.
You might be a post Mormon if you aren't invited to the wedding of your child but you are are still expected to pay for the reception. And pose for photos in front of the temple.
ReplyDeleteYou might be a post Mormon IF you thought the church's new essays might bring you some validation from your TBM family and friends, AND you just might have been wrong about that.
ReplyDeleteThis list is awesome. Number 17. Number 17 so hard.
ReplyDelete